occupational hazard

July 5, 2007

pardon me while i barf

Filed under: bogey — khadija @ 8:06 am

was demoralized a couple of weeks ago when bogey spilled the beans on the real reason why i am still here in this hellhole. apparently, it was only through his intervention/recommendation that our bitchy group head agreed to retain my services last december when she signed my annual performance appraisal report. what a load of crap! seriously now! she obviously does not have any friggin idea how i put my heart and mind and soul in my work just so stupid bogey could claim credit.

what really did make my blood boil is that all this indifference she has of me started with the stupid extra-curricular activities that management has been harping about as means to bring about harmony and camaraderie within the organization. yeah right! let them say that with straight faces while bitchy group head criticizes my anti-social behavior of not attending christmas parties and even the recently held summer outing cum sportsfest. what the hell kind of organization demands its employees to have fun? have they ever considered the fact that i am definitely NOT going to have fun if i am just going to waste my weekends or after office hours with THEM? have they conveniently forgotten i am not one of those kiss asses/snitches who feign loyalty by wearing stupid smiles and fawningly saying yes to everything pro-management (with the required matching drooling)?

told myself i am not going to be affected by this latest confession (which he conveniently shared with me right after the group head was all praises for a recent budget report i submitted). i can finally say that stupid bogey has a different agenda – probably to win my loyalty or to keep me on my toes. but whatever! my feelings for him haven’t changed. i have absolutely no respect whatsoever for the kind of person and manager he stupidly is and he can never, ever win my heart. and i’ll definitely be on guard when it comes to his motives.

June 1, 2007

breather

Filed under: bogey — khadija @ 2:57 am

wow! been a long time since i checked in. had lots to do but was able to wing it. done with audit reply (a novel at 40 pages) and realty tax (dealing with money hungry government officials and agents) and now am finally taking it easy (still a feat with stupid bogey breathing down my neck on every transaction he could not comprehend). hai . . . the last booboo was his failure to submit audit reply last december coz he buried papers on his cluttered disorderly pig sty of a desk. just wish we can get rid of him soon.

April 26, 2007

warm spit

Filed under: bogey — khadija @ 9:15 am

finally done with the stupid insurance coverage of bank branches and properties (which really should have been bogey’s job from the beginning – but as useless, he is a stupid, useless, worthless crap of humanity who, er THAT is not even worth a pitcher of warm spit).

so much has happened with bogey in his favorite category of passing the buck around. he’s been promising senior officers as usual about how gsd can get the job done and mind you, these stupid jobs are NOT our responsibility in the first place. it’s just that bogey can’t keep his stupid trap shut.

was supposed to have an outing tomorrow but NO, he just had to take it all back just because he suddenly realized that this can be seen as taking bribe from a bank officer/contractor/gift from GOD. wow! he should have realized that month’s ago when he started out planning and convincing everyone (including myself) to join.

he’s out today, by the way. stupid crap of humanity visited orani yesterday and as expected, being the freeloader that he stupidly is, had bad tummy today due to over indulgence. good riddance!!! without him around, i was able to clear out my desk and intray and mailbox with all the clutter (read: bogey’s pathetic delegation of his duties to me).

and what’s more stupid than this? he called our secretary to text him if there are urgent documents that need his signature. turns out he just wants to make sure he really needs to report for work BEFORE actually reporting for work. grrr

anyway, ths stupid bank is holding it’s first (and hopefully last) bankwide sportsfest/outing and our stupid gh has scared the wits out of her staff by clarifying that only those dead employees (or those whose family members have died) are excused to not show up. funny coz in our department, only four people are going to attend. i’d like to see bogey’s face while being reprimanded by the gh when she finally finds out about this mutiny.

March 16, 2007

chapter 6

Filed under: bloops — khadija @ 5:18 am

email no. 101 (my favorite person strikes again – asking guard to clean up branch) you see we don’t have a janitor here and our place is already being properly maintained. relative to this, requesting approval of giving him extra pay for cleaning the working place. not only janitorial that he is providing but also assisting us in carrying the metal boxes. amen

email no. 102 (subject) NOTICE OF LOST the loss horizon

email no. 103 (branch requisition) we would like to request 10 pieces of fearless boxes. holy cow

fax no. 104 (caller on the line) pahingi ng fax, ma’am. sorry, out of stock . . .

email no. 105 (branch complaint) after a week of using it we inquired charges amounting to P 800.00  baka acquired!

email no. 106 (check request follow up) the client need it asap. Okays

email no. 107 (personal mail) i did not loose hope. mooo!

email no. 108 (favorite person filing a report on client’s business location) i have many families dislocated at arayat due to lahar especially near company x and i know well the place. ouch!

email no. 109 (branch request for accounting) please advise should i booked this to our branch. ouch ouch!

conversation no. 110 (supplier sales pitch) pag wireless po, hindi na kailangan ng wiring. claro!

conversation no. 111 (complaint on projector) yung infocus namin, outfocus na ngayon. claro ulit!

email no. 112 (personal mail) didn’t really mean to but when we looked up, there was two of them. sablay!

email no. 113 (complaint re guards)   . . make sure the agency sends a representative to make a rounds of our branches. ring a ring of roses!

memo no. 114 (memo to the president) the new check design will be equip with . . . wow!

letter no. 115 (picture caption) this pictures shows the debris falling from the adjascent construction. scent of a woman!

requisition no. 116 (coin bags dapat) may we request for one bandle of plastic coins. dah!

requisition no. 117 (dapat may s) this is to request for 3 microfilm. sssssssssssssssss!

letter no. 118 (authorization) this is to authorized . . . . tapos na?

email no. 119 (explanation as to why there wasn’t any file attachment) sorry you weren’t copied. . . . carbon copied or cloned?

requisition no. 120 3,000 money bundles (assort) will ac-count them first

driving without a brain

Filed under: bogey — khadija @ 3:45 am

people are still talking behind his back and worse, it’s not even confined to our bank’s people. recently, he asked our affiliate’s staff (coz he knew our department would not lift a finger to help him) with his driver’s license. his inborn stupidity dictated for him to suddenly stop at the skyway, get off his vehicle and proceed to look for something he remembered while he was driving. as expected, he was apprehended for obstruction and was later found to be driving with an expired license! to cut the story short, the affiliate’s messenger was given P500 to cover grease money but did not include food, transportation and processing of his driver’s license which took a total of 4 days. also, the penalty for this is actually P1,500. he paraded himself at the affiliate’s office and was making a scene about how long it was taking and how he’s driving without a license. he even had the gall to question this poor guy if he really gave the P500 bill to LTO staff. the vice president of the affiliate was fuming mad when she put her foot down. they vowed to never again help this stupid spineless bogey. . . . and did i mention bogey even walked out when his license picture was about to be taken because he hated the idea of all these people lining up at the LTO and gawking at him?

January 12, 2007

chapter five

Filed under: bloops — khadija @ 3:10 am

email no. 80 can we request for a lists of . . . sures

seminar no. 81 (excerpts) before we proceed with our ofen porum

. . . we will have a twenty minutes break.

ms. x. joined with equitable bank on 1996.

we would like to acknowledge the present of our current president . . .

we have a website where you can walk through with it . . . ho-hum

email no. 82 (branch complaint) the branch already incurred a total charges of . . . sablay

email no. 83 (same branch) . . . but unfortunately no personnel from our supplier come to the branch for repair. patay

email no. 84 datas/information are updated. sabit

email no. 85 (forwarded message) i am not going to bored you with . . . they cannot breath on their own anymore . . . the situation has got out of hands . . . kabit

email no. 86 (request as usual) we were advised that they were ran out of stock of duffel bags. hit and run

email no. 87 (advisory) unplug sockets that need to be unplugged. but how? pray tell!!!

email no. 88 (request na naman) . . . security agency roming the branches during the long holiday. when in rome . . .

email no. 89 (reply received re follow-up) it’s still on que. banana or barbe?

email no. 90 (complaint by area head) as of date, except for a couple of e-mails, nothing has come out of it. we dated?

email no. 91 (branch reply) we have send 3 grill quotations last march 11. past is past

meeting no. 92 (overheard) boss to contractor: so sino ka nga? (after talking with him for more than an hour) cute

telephone conversation no. 93 (overheard) employee 1: hoy! sira ang phone nyo sa baba. baka di nag-ri-ring kaya di nyo sinasagot. employee 2: talaga? (proceeds to dial his number located at a different floor. when line was finally picked up . . . ) hello? nag-ring ba jan? e helow????????????????

mail no. 94 (informational) although presently the philippines are considered . . . . sige na nga. islands kasi

mail no. 95 (personal message received) men are hard to pleased. me too!

mail no. 96 (email announcment) we requests the auditing team . . . to check on your grammar?

mail no. 97 (pleading) if you won’t answer my mail, i’ll considered . . . what the?

lunch out no. 98 (break muna) me: one choco twirl please. order taker: okay ma’am. ano pong flavor? chocolate, mango or ube? me: choco twirl nga. sa cup ha? order taker: okay ma’am. chocolate cone po sa cup? oh brother!!!

starbucks no. 99 (coffee break naman) me: short steamed milk please. order taker: ma’am, would you like that hot or cold? let me think . . .

email no. 100 (complaint) we don’t received any communication . . . but did they sent?

January 9, 2007

natomy of a deranged mind (sub-titled: signs of the apocalypse)

Filed under: angst — khadija @ 1:56 am

The story starts with a travelling circus visiting the peaceful town whose name i have conveniently forgotten. Baltazar is an old clown who owns the circus, and together with Felipe (ventriloquist with a puppet that looks just like him – typical, typical!), a bearded lady, a gentle giant (with matching hump at the back), and several other performers (and animals) form a closely-knit adoptive family to our heroine Peregrina who is a trapeze artist/belly dancer, cared for by her adoptive grandmother/fortuneteller Sabina (who has a knack for heavy eye make-up, big dangling earrings and matching bracelets, with the stereotype gypsy get-up, complete with sequins and what-nots. Childhood friends of Peregrina are protective Karim (male hottie/cutie) and Tontin (the sad clown) who secretly admires her. What’s a story without the love angle so there is super possessive boyfriend/fiance Ivan, who throws daggers for breakfast. Forgot the name of the female hottie/cutie who’s madly in love with Ivan and makes life hell for our heroine. When Ivan finally moved on after Peregrina left, he hooked up with a tall, blonde trapeze artist who tragically dies after the female hottie (enraged with jealousy) sabotages her flying trapeze act. But i digress . . . Did i mention Cheetah the monkey who starved himself (or hereself? – i think she was wearing a pink tutu at one point of the story) almost to death when Peregrina finally left the circus and live with her real family? But then again, i digress . . .

Peregrina is a simple girl with simple dreams (small house with a beautiful garden and all that shit), and everything’s well until the night Rodolfo [with his muscle and friend (another male hottie/cutie)] watched Peregrina dance and as expected, the two fell in love (Rodolfo and Peregrina, not Rodolfo and friend), what with the figure-to-die-for-and-to-live-again-to-kill-for, killer smile, aquiline nose and long eyelashes of Peregrina (not Rodolfo). After a few trysts at the beach, Rodolfo mysteriously vanishes, and while the heroine goes around town (much to the dismay of grandma Sabina) haunted by our hunk’s sweet kisses, several people almost drop dead while exclaiming “Marcela! It can’t be!”

Sleepy sleepy town this place turns out to be as Peregrina is easily seen (and remembered and talked about whenever) by the bad characters such as chauffeur Melquedes, his daughter Abigail (maid in uniform with matching ribbons on her hair, dangling earrings and horrendous black flat shoes), Señora Victoria Contreras [the anti-heroine with a knack for flowing pants (go figure)], see-through blouses, big earrings with matching necklace, heels and parasol) plus the ever bratty Evita (long-haired, braced and blue-eyed adopted member of the high society Alcozer family). Conveniently, they are able to plot and scheme so that the rich Eliseo Alcozer (whose house all the bad characters live in and who looks lika Santa Claus with bad health) will not meet Peregrina, for fear they will be kicked out of the house and lose inheritance. On the sideline is another ho-hum love story involving Angelica (Marcela’s aunt living in Eliseo’s house as usual) and Alonso (buffed, muscled, mustached dirty old man/doctor). Vicenta (who is best friend to dead Marcela and later, to Angelica, and who has the knack for wearing dusters) is still pining for the husband who left her alone to raise their paraplegic daughter Charito (who fell in love with Tontin when they eventually moved into their house when the circus folded up) to follow his dreams (go figure) by washing and pressing clothes for the rich people like Angelica’s family. On the sideline is yet another ho-hum love triangle involving lawyer Eugenio (brother of Alonso and with whom Evita has a huge crush on after turning down Karim with whom she also had taken a fancy) who fell in love with Peregrina who eventually married Rodolfo. WARNING: At this point, you have to get your Zoloft ready.

On the much-awaited honeymoon night, Peregrina accidentally overhears Rodolfo telling someone that he’s not in love with Peregrina. Our heroine, brokenhearted and unconsolable in her tube top, dangling earrings, great hairdo and flowing gypsy skirt hurriedly leaves (with a matching small handbag and slip-on heels) the island where all her love fantasies came to an end (during which time, Rodolfo had an accident). Peregrina, upon arriving at the mansion, could not bring herself to tell her grandfather that she now knows the truth because of his bad heart (according to Alonso). Eliseo, on the other hand, has learned about the truth several episodes before, when Victoria was found out to be the lying, stealthy bitch she really was, and which was basically the reason why Peregrina and Sabina have been living in his house even before Rodolfo shocked everyone, including his mom Victoria about his intention to marry Peregrina.

Peregrina falls in love again (as predicted) with Rodolfo when he finally returned to the mansion coz his kisses were like those she’s tasted at the beach (and also because she is so pregnant right after the honeymoon escapade to the island). Eliseo conveniently suffers a stroke and is bedridden, giving Victoria the opportunity to send everyone packing, leaving only her motley crew to run the house. As expected, Peregrina and Sabina are adopted by Eugenios’ family (for some reason, Rodolfo suddenly turned cold again). Angelica (with long mascara’ed eyelashes and her super curly hair kept up in a ponytail – thank God coz when she first went out on a date with Alonso to a discotheque where Peregrina caught Rodolfo smooching his ex-girlfriend), she looked really horrible with her hair let down), who works as a secretary to Eugenio takes divorce papers of Vicenta without permission with the intention of expediting process. As fate would have it, she accidentally finds out the truth (which was supposed to have evaded the stupid characters because if it weren’t so elusive, then there won’t be any telenovela in the first place. WARNING: At this point, you have to check yourself in a rehab for severe depression, mania and delusion).

Angelica with her curly hair finds out that her best friend (with whom she is living with and with whom she has been pouring her heart out about finally finding the one great guy who swept her off her feet) is actually the abandoned wife of her fiance. Peregrina has actually learned at the island that she is the legitimate heiress to Eliseo, being the baby of Marcela (Eliseo’s daughter married to Delfin) stolen by Melquedes and given away to the circus people per instructions of Victoria in exchange for the dead baby granddaughter of Sabina. Evita got the shock of her life when she learns she was not just trash left at the doorstep of the Alcozer house but is actually the daughter of Abigail and Anibal. To add to this craziness, get this: Peregrina ACTUALLY married Anibal, Rodolfo’s evil twin, who was just after the inheritance, and it was Anibal who is the father of Peregrina’s baby and it was really him and not Rodolfo who was killed in the island by jealous Abigail. What insanity flooding my brain with these useless details just from watching a couple of episodes that i conveniently (and by choice) avoided watching the final episode. Who cares what happens to these insufferable creatures? I’m going to join the circus and make my own destiny.

December 6, 2006

chapter four

Filed under: bloops — khadija @ 2:42 am

email no. 61 (follow-up on request) this has been a long overdued request . . . how matured

email no. 62 (inquiry on obsolete forms) can we already transferred the items and . . . so it’s done

email no. 63 (safety deposit box complaint) the keys delivered did not matched the lock. okay already

meeting no. 64 (excerpts from meeting) i stood pat on my word now. . . . to have her to be back into the organization. what if the members wants to come back? do you push as a member or just back out? . . . that was what we told to the lawyer. members who will attend will be cloth with authority. she were a former instructor . . we had a meeting last week but unfortunately i wasn’t there. . . . and with that we ended up the meeting now. ay sus ginoo!!!

email no. 65 (after request has been served) we test the phone just now and it’s now working . . . now what?

employee orientation no. 66 (trainor acknowledging speaker) okay. let’s give her a clap! bastos!

telephone conversation no. 67 (re whereabouts of co-employees) wala po sila. nasa taynay. not sure kasi kung tanay or taytay

memo no. 68 (follow-up re contract) may we inform you that we have not yet hear from you since . . . do you hear what i hear?

email no. 69 (same contract) please provide us the latest contract that will be served as the basis for . . . first come first served?

memo no. 70 (complaint re elevator maintenance service) this is to inform your office that yesterday night, some of our staff members nearly got caught in the elevator . . . aaaaaayyyyyy!!!

memo no. 71 (back to the contract) please attached your signature to all pages. . . ayayay!!!

memo no. 72 (reply to previous memo) attach please find complete set of amended contract. . . ayayay pag-ibig!!!

memo no. 73 (check reorder as usual) may we request our clients for an express reorder of ckbklts to wit the ff: will ask the clients

email no. 74 (justification kuno) now that volume are already high . . . up, up and away . . .

memo no. 75 (complaint) . . . reports of some staff about the non-existence of janitors . . . when their services is needed. to be or not to be . . .that is the question

email no. 76 (more complaints) up to now, he did not reported for work and wish to ask the replacement at the soonest possible time. when you wish upon a star . . .

email no. 77 (inquiry re bill wrappers) we inquire today with ms. x assistant cashier of bsp angeles if possible that our deposit had inverted bill wrapper. to invert or not to invert . . . that is another question

email no. 78 (more inquiry) this is to clarify of the proper bundling/packaging of small bills . . . and “of” we go . . .

conversation no. 79 (department head insisting on their transfer to new office) my boss: hinihintay ko lang nga ang approval ni ms. x. department head: so kelan nga yon? my boss: pag inapprove na nya. claro?

email no. 80 (subject heading) edson line printer named after light bulb inventor, i presume

feet up

Filed under: Uncategorized — khadija @ 2:20 am

finally, the worst is over (i think). i am done with “most” of the stuff being passed on to me by stupid bogey so i am taking it easy. the rest of this stupid year will be spent on parties (which i won’t attend) and some last minute reports that need to be submitted to management (for some semblance of order and achievement). at last, i am able to write some stuff and play some games and chat and listen to music. what bliss!!!

November 25, 2006

bah humbug

Filed under: angst — khadija @ 1:43 am

it’s saturday and i am friggin here at the office. imagine being required to come here just for the annual christmas decorations at the elevator lobbies per floor (that’s 13 friggin christmas trees) and i don’t even have any added value here as an interior designer does all the decorating while the janitors do all the buzzing. what’s more, i do NOT appreciate being here around 9 (janitors were here by 7) and the friggin senior officers who are the brains (or non-brains) of this project are NOT even here 2 hours after the supposed 8am call time. i hate prima donna’s especially these ugly ones whose favorite past time is kissing up to the chairman and president. grrrrr

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